I think I'm growing up

My sister is getting married.
My brother is buying a house.
Another friend is pregnant.
All news I've received in the last six days. On Sunday I was hit pretty hard with my sister's news and the news of another pregnancy. I even cried when my sister announced that she was engaged. I totally wasn't expecting it, and still don't know what I'm supposed to think about it all. My family first me Chad (her fiance) in August and now five months later he's going to become a family member. It's a little too much for this older sister to take. I'm happy-- don't misunderstand me. I'm a little stubborn when it comes to change I don't choose. I admit that. So, we've got a wedding to plan for sometime in August!!!
I'm not even supposed to say which friend is pregnant, atleast not until later this weekend after Mike finds out. It's a family member of Mike's. Ahhh! More babies in the family! Better her than me, thank you.
Now, this news of my brother buying a house is nothing I've been officially told. Thank you  facebook for giving me information! I'm disappointed that he didn't tell me in person, and that I found out by his girlfriend's posting along with the rest of the world. This announcement I have mixed feelings about also, none of which I'm going to get into.
None of this news is totally life changing for me. It just solidifies my getting older.....
Ugh. I'm not supposed to be old enough to have siblings getting married and buying houses, even though they are capable individuals. I don't even feel old enough to have a normal job and a house to pay for and all those "grown up" tasks! Actually, I'm exagerrating, but time flies by so fast that you don't notice the little things that compound and slowly change the things and people that surround you. Or maybe I'm just too stubborn?

My dog wears shoes.....

I bought my dog boots today. Well, actually I've bought her boots twice before, this time they actually fit her.
I think finding a dog boots is harder than buying shoes for a child! I looked at Cabelas, Gander Mountain and Scheels and then finally found some in her size that fit her correctly at Petco. It's not that I think dressing a dog is super cool, it's that when we go for walks in the winter and she steps in slush she dances around for a minute or two afterward alternating which paw she holds up because it makes her feet cold and stick to the ground. I think anyway-- she won't tell me why! So, I simply solved the problem.
I felt kinda bad tonight walking her because she slipped on the icy spots numerous times. When I first put the boots on her, she didn't even want to get up, and it took a few minutes before she walked like normal, but then I think she may have forgotten they were on.
Mike has yet to see that his hunting dog was wearing snow boots. He was against me finding her some hunting boots two years ago because he thought it was stupid for a dog to wear them, and he told me he'd never take the time to put them on her. Then she came back one day with a bad cut on her paw pad. I got the OK to find her boots, but never got around to buying them.
So, now my dog's wardrobe consists of snow boots, a winter jacket, a rain jacket and a sweater. All of which I slowly phased in so Mike wouldn't make a stink about it!
It's all in good fun! :) Happy walking to me!

ode to my Christmas tree

I just finished packing all my Christmas things up for another year. :( Sad!
But, I need to compliment my Christmas tree for turning out so awesome-- and myself for decorating it! hehe! This tree is by far my favorite of the last five years. I used browns and golds this year with pheasant feathers and LOVED how it turned out. I try to use a different theme and color each year. I've had a baby blue tree, a red one, a gold one, and last year was purple, hot pink, lime green and blue.
On an unrealted note-- I'm super bad at blogging, it turns out. The last thing I want to do when I get home at night is sit in front of the computer. And, lately we've been so busy running around that I don't have time even on my days off. Grrrrrr. I'm hoping that January brings a few boring weekends so I can catch up on some things.

Chrsitmas tree shopping-- ALONE!

So, tomorrow I will experience shopping for a Christmas tree alone! Mike is going hunting for the weekend and won't be back until Monday night. This is the weekend we always get our Christmas tree, so in the spirit of Christmas tradition, I'm going alone. Actually, I take that back-- I won't be all alone. I'm going with my mom and dad when they go. That way I won't have to crawl on the ground and chop the tree down myself.
But, the process that concerns me is putting it in the stand when I get home, and even taking the tree out of the truck and carrying it inside. Will it be too heavy and awkward for me? Will I drop it and trip on it and land on a pile of prickly needles and come up cursing mad? Very probable! I've never had to put up a Christmas tree by myself. I've always had Mike to do it. I'll end up on the phone calling my dad to come put the tree in the stand.
Another hurdle is going to be putting the lights on. Obviously my arms do not reach around the entire tree. And, once it's in place, the tree will be against a wall, and I won't be able to walk around the tree. Mike and I have a process when we put the lights on. One person walks around the tree with the lights, and the other person grabs the lights at the spot it's against the wall so we don't have to drop the lights on the floor and pick them up on the other side. You know what I mean?
Typically, as soon as the lights are on the tree Mike and Haley go pheasant hunting and leave me alone in the house with all the decorating totes. By the time they get back, I'm usually done. It's perfect!
I'll find out how stubborn and independent I really am tomorrow.

8 years ago....

I spent the majority of 6 days in the waiting room of a hospital praying to hear that my cousin was awake.

On Friday, Nov. 30, 2001 I woke up to a late-night phone call from my aunt saying that my cousin, Dan, was in the hospital after having an asthma attack. How bad could it be, I thought? He probably took his inhaler, still couldn't catch his breathe and went to the hospital as a precaution. He's fine, I thought. But, then I heard my dads end of the conversation with my aunt, and I knew it was much worse. Dan was transferred to United Hospital in St. Paul in a coma. I didn't sleep much that night, and got up early the next morning to go to the hospital.

No one could have prepared me for walking into his room and seeing my cousin pale and lifeless on a bed with a machine breathing for him. I was so shocked that I felt nothing. I was in denial. I kept telling myself that he's going to be fine and wake up and start hitting on the nurses.

A 22-year-old guy is not supposed to be relying on a piece of equipment to keep his heart pumping and his lungs breathing. He was always very energetic, always had a mischievous smile, always had some plan or scheme in the back of his mind, and always protected me. Dan was one of my best friends.

The nurses told us to talk to him like normal. I had trouble with this because it just seemed to weird for me. We had plans to get together on Dec. 1, and I teased him saying that this was not they way we were supposed to meet up! I also told him that this is a good chance for me to paint his toe nails. I got no response.

The week went by with me driving back and forth from St. Cloud to St. Paul. It was the week before finals, so I couldn't miss classes. It was one of the most difficult times of my life. I called to check in whenever I wasn't in class and always heard the same thing: there's nothing new.

When I remember back to this week, there's some things that I'll never forget. Like the song that was on the radio in my car while I was driving to the hospital on Wednesday when my mom called to tell me that Dan was declared brain dead. She wasn't going to tell my because I was driving, but I begged her. Enrique Iglesius' "Hero", I will never forget. I will also never forget "Saints and Angels" by Sara Evans because that was the next song I heard. Both seemed fitting to the situation.

So, on Thursday night my aunt and uncle made the toughest decision of their lives-- to end the life of their son. There was no improvement, no changes to Dan's condition. I remember walking out of the emergency entrance of United Hospital on Thursday night knowing that I would never walk through those doors again hopeful that Dan was up and awake and that this whole ordeal was over. And, that's when the reality of his death hit me. I collapsed on a bench in a little garden outside the hospital and sobbed. Mike was there, and he held me while I cried outside in the freezing cold.

It was over.

Each year at this time I get my old photos out and shed a tear or two-- maybe even three! I still miss him, and hope that I'll never forget the memories I have right now.

Dan and I were in my aunt's wedding when we were young. We grew up doing everything together. My senior year of high school, Dan went to prom with one of my best friends. Coincidentally, we were wearing the same colors as we were in the photo12 years before that!

family pics

An old co-worker of mine took some family photos a couple of weeks ago. It's really hard to find one good picture of everyone, especially with Mike in the photo! It was a gorgeous day outside and the pics turned out great.

yes, I'm still alive

I forgot what my username and password was for by blog. Sad.
It's been a while since I posted something simply because the last thing I want to do when I get home is sit on my butt some more. I get 11 hours of that.
My job is going well. I could do without the drive, though. I feel like I'm never home and pack so much into the weekends that I can't seem to catch up on anything. But, I kinda like it that way. As much as I complain about it (and Mike can attest to that!) I like to be busy and know that I always have something to do.
So, other than driving, working, driving some more and sleeping, there's not a whole lot going on with me right now.